“Say no to everything frequently and gracefully, except what is vital. ”
NO.
I use NO with conviction when I speak to my dog. Otherwise, it doesn’t roll off the tongue with ease. I'm blaming my personality type as an UPHOLDER, but that still fails to address my shortcomings with NO. So, I’m taking a deeper dive into this powerful two-letter sentence.
Greg Mckeown deserves credit for bringing the importance of NO to the forefront of my thoughts. Some of his ideas I repackaged here. Some of the ideas I stole from others. And some of the ideas I can't recall their origin.
Hell Yeah! or NO. Mckeown mentions this trick, but I was riding the Derek Sivers train long before Essentialism hit the shelves. The filter is as simple as it sounds. A "maybe" is a NO. And anything other than "Hell Yeah!" gets a solid NO.
Have Rules. Thanks to the rule of law governing most cultures, humans respond well to rules. So, I make rules and cite rules instead of NO. For example, I only take A.M. conference calls & meetings on Thursdays. This rule makes my mornings productive and my calendar declines easy.
Replace No with Yes. You can break bad habits by replacing them with good habits. The same holds for NO. Let's say a colleague asks me to work on an insurance brand account. I’d say NO followed by a shortlist of brands we could work on together. The benefits of replacing NO with yes are two-fold: 1)it quickly reinforces where your passions lie, and 2)it provides options. Giving options can catalyze change in the questioner's mind.
Change the meaning of NO. I've historically believed yes = good & no = bad. Just like my dog. I’m reworking these equations. If someone asks to punch you in the face. NO would be a really good answer. I’ve over simplified my example, but not by much when you begin to take a closer look and your NOs.
Ask yourself at every moment, "Is this necessary?" – Marcus Aurelius A valid question two millennia ago, and equally applicable today. If the answer to this five-syllable question is NO, then you respond with NO.
Say No. One, simple, NO. Free from clarifying statements, commentary, excuses, and regrets. The best way to say NO is to say NO.
It’s said writing clarifies your thoughts. And these are my thoughts on NO.
Use it often, use it wisely.
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Another piece of writing inspired by my friends Mario Dot To and Nurture Theory. We believe the thinking discovered through public writing improves our lives. We call ourselves the Western Writers League, and we'll get some mega swag made eventually.