Benevolence without words

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I ventured to the Oregon Coast last week for a strategic Workcation. (Noun) A serendipitous and pleasurable business trip.

I also enriched a friendship.

My friend and I spent nearly every second together. Working, fly fishing, strolling the beaches, meditating, journaling, surfing, repeat. We experienced the restorative trip I hoped we'd find. I consider us better friends now than ever before.

What may surprise you is my friend didn't utter a single word the entire trip. That's because my friend was my good ole' buddy Chimehuin.

My dog.

I sure do love dogs. They possess the best of attitudes, and we have many lessons to learn from these ever-loyal and loving souls. In this particular instance, Chimehuin educated me on benevolence without words.

Chimehuin showcased how much we’re capable of achieving without saying anything at all. I truly believe our friendship grew stronger and she never spoke, not one word, over a three-day span. Coming to this realization, I paused and reflected on the number of times I'd said something unnecessarily stupid, or interrupted a meaningful ongoing conversation, or made an off topic statement, only to hear myself speak. Because – for some reason or another – I thought I needed to speak. I didn’t. It's much easier for me to talk than listen with care. I now recognize this weakness.

As weird as the canine source for this lesson may be, it's the truth, my dog's loving silence inspires me to change to my behavior – to practice less talking and more listening. Genuine, authentic, listening.

My hope is recognizing this shortcoming and writing about it here will spur change for the better.

In closing, I'll leave you with three quotes summarizing my feelings and thoughts the best.

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
— Epictetus
They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.
— Carl W. Buehner
Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.
— Dale Carnegie

Thanks for the lesson, Chimehuin.


Another piece of writing inspired by my friends Mario Dot To and Nurture Theory. We believe writing improves our lives and we call ourselves the Western Writers League, for fun. We’ll get stickers made eventually.