I have flaws.
A lot of flaws.
Visit my Instagram page, and you’ll get the good stuff, only the good stuff.
Now it’s time for an honest self-review. Share the bad. The not good.
This list of imperfections could go on forever, but I’ll keep it to the first 15 that came to mind today.
I’m not detail oriented. In the last week, I’ve put the milk in the pantry, locked my keys in the car, lost my wallet, and sent important tax documents to my account I didn’t even read. Open any article on success, and you see “attention to detail” near the top of the page. You also won’t read my name in those articles.
I think small. I define Corbin Brands as a small batch digital agency, and that’s inflating us a bit. The movers and shakers of the world think big. I think small. And I keep things small.
I drink beer. I drink too much beer. I drink less beer today than I have in the last 17 years, but it’s a daily challenge. I love beer, and I drink too much of it.
I can’t touch my toes. I can’t put my socks on standing up, and when I put them on sitting down, it hurts my back. I have a bad back. I also have a bad knee. I used to find my lack of mobility humorous. I now see it as one of the biggest health challenges I face.
I say like, often. I like, use the word like, way too much. I like, put the word like, in sentences where it, like, doesn’t even belong.
I let society decide. I’ve always thought way too much about what others think of me. To the extent that it’s impacted my decisions & behaviors. At a young age, it impacted sports performance, at an older age, it influenced my career. Negatively.
I hear but don’t listen. Potentially the most critical skill of all: listening. I’m terrible. Meet me at a party, and you’re gonna have to tell me your name three times. I’ll likely ask you the exact same question twice. Back to back.
I’m messy. My natural tendencies would best be described as… A JUNK SHOW (All caps for emphasis). I broke the back window of my truck topper last week, cramming it full of poorly organized fishing and camping gear. A $400 messy mistake.
I waste time. I work hard, I work long, but I don’t work efficiently. I’ll waste three potentially productive days of work, only to knock out a project in the last 24 hours before a deadline. I’m not getting any time back, and I waste a lot of it.
I can’t decide. Great leaders make fast, clear, unwavering decisions. I don’t. I’ll put four different six packs of beer in my shopping cart, taking each back out, before taking a completely different one home. Beer in the shopping cart, also, a bad decision overall.
I text and drive. I do it all the time. And my wife’s a professional triathlete. That’s embarrassing. Actually, that’s disgusting.
I have a short attent… Oh, look, squirrel! I literally have to place a pebble on my phone to get work done. You can turn off notifications, but that’s not enough for this scatterbrain. I need an object that anchors my phone to the desk, or I’ll pick it up every five minutes.
I struggle to read. I haven’t read a fiction book since high school. And that was required reading. I read out of necessity, but not for pleasure. Reading doesn’t come easy to me, never has.
I’m a chicken. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I’ve had opportunities to make big bets professionally over the years. Big chances that could have led to big wins. And I’ve chickened out of every single one.
I keep it light. This post may be the most transparent I’ve been publicly my entire life. I generally avoid negative situations, negative conversations, or negative anything at all.
So where does this self-loathing leave me?
I realize some of the items on the list are fixable, and I’ll fix them. Others are just me. I’ve wrestled with me for years. Not being the person I hoped to be and recognizing inherent flaws preventing me from reaching these heights. Today, I realize that’s just me, with one life to live and I’m going to enjoy it.
Besides, my dog thinks I’m perfect.